Friendship Singles

Is it cheating if you have a friendship with someone but you have romantic feeling?

Friendship is between a married woman and single man. Strictly platonic in conversation, no physical contact, he does not know she has these feelings. He does not have romantic feelings for her. Contact by phone or text every 1 to 2 weeks. Is this an affair or just a fantasy? Even if husband knows about friendship, he doesn't know about the romantic feelings. Obviously it isn't right, but is it cheating?

Public Comments

1. what?
2. I think if you are married and start to developer romantic feelings for some one you should end the friendship and work on your marriage. If you have romantic feelings for some one else when married it means you are losing feelings for your spouse. Fix the marriage. Its not cheating but can and will lead to that, or cause a lot of heartache for you.
3. it's normal. you can't go your entire life married and expect to not have romantic feelings or crushes on other people. the real test is how devoted you are to your husband and whether or not you can fight temptation. it is not cheating.
4. It is called an emotional affair and yes it is cheating.
5. if you dont act on it then no...if he does end up feeling the same or you feel guilty then somethings wrong
6. No, of course, this is not cheating. But, everything depends on you relationship with your husband. If he feels secure - and you are able to talk about this relationship - don't worry about it. But you should break it off if your husband gives any indication that he is uncomfortable with it.
7. ask yourself if u would be ok with your husband doing the exact same thing, then u have your answer.
8. YES it is cheating.
9. Star, I'm with silly. You are heading down the wrong path and tempting yourself and your friend. It's not healthy for either of you. Keep the friendship, end the text messages, and invite him over for a meal with your family. Tell him to bring his girlfriend. It would be a very nice relationship if you AND your husband could be friends with him AND his girlfriend. You are not available and should not be wasting his time with your fantasy. Of course people develop feelings for others, but when one is married, those feelings need to be kept at bay. You need to get it under control and stop playing with fire...You will feel better about yourself if you do PLUS your husband, poor guy, will get a wife who remembers she is married!
10. No, it is not cheating. Its human nature to have feelings for other people. I believe that You cannot control your feelings for other people, all you can control is your actions. As long as you don't act on those feelings, then you're not cheating. You shouldn't feel ashamed or upset by your feelings, you're human. Just because you marry someone does not mean that you should never have any type of attraction toward another person. And if your husband says he does not have attractions to other people, then he's lying. The problem is when you act on those feelings...thats when you've done something wrong. And also, just because you have feelings for someone else, it does NOT mean you are losing feelings for your spouse. The answerer who said that is WRONG!
11. Just be careful. Don't spend too much time with this guy, because if he puts the moves on you can you resist the temptation? Make sure you are not sending him mixed messages and asking for something unintentionally.
12. Attraction to other people while married is perfectly normal. My wife and I have talked about this and it's human nature. I know that she sometimes finds another man attractive and she knows I see beautiful women all the time. However let me stress that it is only an attraction! An attraction versus developing romantic feelings is not the same thing. Anyone that believes that is kidding themselves. People outside of my marriage are kept outside. In your case, I would be worried if I was your husband because even though this friend has no feelings now it is possible for him to have them later. Think about the possible scenarios. If you were to express these feelings to the friend, what would he say? Also, what if you are alone with him one day and he has developed feelings on his own without even knowing about yours? I think you need to be honest with yourself because right now you are skating on thin ice.