Friendship Singles - Does your friendship change with you single friends?

Does your friendship change with you single friends?

My friend recently got married and she said she had a conversation with her mother about friendships after you get married. They're both convinced that your friendships you have with your single friends will change. I'm not exactly sure what would change. Your availability, yes. But what else? Has anyone grown apart from their friends or their relationship change with their single friends? Was it a good change or bad? Does it have to be different?

Public Comments

It changes. For the worse. Period.
When my friends got married their relationship with me did not change at all. We still have girl night's out and chat as much as we used to. Yeah, now they aren't prowling for guys, but we still go out and have fun. Nothing should change unless you or your friends feel like it should.
There are definitely changes that I saw. Yes, availability changes. But a lot of my single friends still live at home with their parents, and they sometimes don't seem to understand why when they want to go out drinking or to expensive restaurants, I prefer not to go. I'd rather save our money for our bills. It's hard for them to sometimes realize the responsibilities of being married and owning your own home and all that. Some say they do, but when it comes down to conversing about such things, they really don't get it at all. I still see my single friends here and there, but definitely not like I did before I got married.
I am not married yet but I would think availability would change, and the topics of conversation, places you go with them. They aren't going to want to take you to a bar to flirt with guys if your married, well you shouldn't want to haha.
The only change I have experienced was with my one very good male friend...because we used to get together and go to concerts and go downtown, etc...but now that I'm married, we really can't go on outtings alone anymore. But with my girls, it didn't change-because I still kept their friendships a priority...I email them and call them like I always have. There's no reason why friendships have to change.
Yes it does. The friend usually feels like an extra wheel if you do things with the spouse. If you try to do things just between you and your friend without the spouse, then this can cause problems with the spouse (especially if you do too much separately). But then your friend feels like they are in a competition with your spouse for your time and it sometimes becomes a problem between one or both. It changes everything on how you interact with them. They can't just call and you drop everything to go off and hang out with them. Most spouses aren't going to support this very long. It usually puts a strain on the relationship, so either they are going to have to become more understanding of your availability and let the friendship change to a different level or be prepared to have the friend slowly withdraw.
Maybe you talked about the Men in your life before. Most of that is now off limits. Marriage is the most intimate relationship possible. If you reveal too much you can ruin it. Also, the Man in your life is now the most important person in your life, no girlfriend matters near so much as He. Also, you will find that you have less in common. The girlfriends are still dating and looking for Husbands. The girlfriends are now in a different place in their lives and you won't have as much to say to them. Husband didn't have to forbid me to drop my single friends. Those friendships just drifted off. We now have married couples friends.
i have a friend that was married while i was married then she got divorced and shes been single for about 15 years and our friendship has'nt changed at all. however she does more things with her other single friends than she use to do and that o.k. by me. i love her just the same and we are still very good friends.
Definitely things change once you're married. Your priorities change. Your husband, your family now come first. And friends don't always like that change. You are now involved in building a future with someone else that involves children, his family, a home, combining careers,etc. Single friends don't always know where they fit into all that. And holidays you use to spend with single friends are now spent with married friends, family, etc.
All relationships change with time. Different interests, moving away, many things. It is not just marriage that changes things, so keep your friendships as they were if your circumstances allow.
My friends all left me when I got married because they couldn't deal with the fact that I had new commitments and responsibilities as a wife with a new extended family. I was able to spend time with them at least once a week and have a girl's night out, but on occasion I had to cancel. They saw my husband as a direct threat because he was "taking my attention away from them." I used to spend time with them all the time and at a drop of a hat. They would not accept that I could still be there and spend time with them, but I wasn't able to just change my plans when ever they wanted. My own friends wouldn't even show up at my wedding. We had a lot of problems and they tried to blame my husband for breaking us up. BUT, he was not the cause of my friends breaking up with me. They would not accept what I could offer as a friend. They were also very jealous because they could not find a decent man because they were "easy". Come to find out, they weren't really good friends. They were never around when I needed help or had good things to share with them, but always wanted me to drop what I was doing to cater to their needs. Fair-weathered friends disappear when you get married and/or have children. Plus most of my friends were still living at home with mommy and daddy while having everything done for them and I had to take care of myself. I was independent for 5 years before I got married and they still live at home and don't have any financial obligations.
Of course it changes. Your single friends will want to do "single" activities that often aren't appropriate for married men / women to participate in. Likewise your single friends don't have to consider a "spouses" feelings about being gone for a long period of time (they will nag you to stay out longer etc.). Overall, single friends will slowly pull away because they get tired of you being an "old person" while you pull away because you have a new best friend & spouse who is more important. You don't give up the friendships completely but the friendship changes.
yes, they talk about being married more often.
Every time you change your life everything around you tends to change also. I don't know if you can categorize it as better or worse just different. You gradually grow apart.
It does change. We hardly speak to each other now.
yup your friend ships with your single friends does change its not intentional, but it can't really be avoided its not anyone's fault...yet at the same time, its not something you'll enjoy either when availability changes, so does closeness People you talked to everyday before you got married, you find yourself talking to them once every few months after the wedding So you go from talking about personal things in life, such as who they have a date with on friday night and what they'll wear, to trying to do catch-up talk "where are you working now?" "did you loose weight?" etc.. in other words, because you're less available, sometimes you inadvertantly find yourself emotionally distant and out-of-the-loop on the little things in each other's lives besides that most married women don't want to talk about the party scene or whats going on at work they want to talk about their husbands and about babies (if they are planning to start a family, that is huge) I didn't mean to loose touch with my single friends after I got married, but it happened I found that some of them were actually pissed at me for getting married before them and being happy when they weren't I stopped calling people to share my good news (like my husband's promotion or when we found out we were pregnant) because they didn't want to hear about my good news, they just wanted to vent about how miserable they were (misery loves company) the worst was when my best friend, a woman who was practically a sister to me, started to insult my husband...you do NOT insult a woman's husband she and I rarely talk anymore, and when we do its always about superficial stuff... I guess it would be different if my single friends were happy with themselves or their lives If they were happy with themselfs then they probably would have been more happy for me